The Box of History
I have heard the name of Virginia Woolf for several times: along with her contribution to stream of consciousness, or her participation in feminism. Every time I hear her name, there is a sense of sorrowness, because I might connect her name with how she killed herself by filling her pockets with rocks and jump in to the River Ouse. Those memories all came before I saw a portrait of her.
A portrait is nothing. The angriest protester might seem calm when he or she was pictured, and a sensational artist might look rational and scientific in a painting. But I was still attracted by her photographs. I do not know much about her. I was always told that her books are famous, and someone told me she should win the noble literature prize. People say The Waves and To the Light house are famous, but I put them down after reading about 50 pages. When I look at this picture of her, I see her eyes. They look sorrow, but under the sorrowness, she looks calm. I thought her world is quiet, and it seems like she can always start to think about the universe no matter how the world is. However, after I had this thought, I immediately thought it was wrong. Because I know her mood was worsen during the World WarⅡ, and she was a pacifist.
Then I finally noticed that whatever I can see through a portrait has the risk of getting wrong. But the meaning of portrait is to let me to know I cannot know a person by any information. When people are talking about Woolf, all they say is about her relationship with her husband, her homosexuality, her thought on feminism, and her depression. But I know that’s not all a person includes. Does she love forests or does she love cities? What’s her thought about love? How will she describe a cat’s sound, meow or “miaowu”? Will she be happy if she knew one day the war is going to end? People are killed by their fame, because I know when I look at her portrait or when I notice her name, my eyes are like documentaries. When we look at her portrait, we are never ever able to see her: all we do is to examine her with her experiences. Under the discussion of people, know one will know Virginia Woolf, but only know her as pacifist, people with depression or writer.